Boundaries as a Superpower
Navigating Chronic Illness and Disability with Clarity and Compassion
When living with chronic illness or disability, boundaries become essential—not just optional tools but lifelines. Setting and maintaining boundaries allows us to conserve energy, honor our limits, and build relationships rooted in mutual respect and understanding. Yet, creating boundaries requires something many of us may have had to learn the hard way: the ability to communicate clearly and assertively.
Why Boundaries Matter for Spoonies
Boundaries are often misunderstood as walls that keep others out, but in reality, they’re about protecting our well-being. For those of us with chronic illness or disability, boundaries:
Preserve energy: Every "yes" we give takes energy from a limited reserve. Boundaries help us prioritize what truly matters.
Prevent burnout: Without boundaries, we risk physical and emotional exhaustion.
Build trust: Clear boundaries set expectations, reducing the likelihood of misunderstandings or unmet needs.
Boundaries are an act of self-love and self-preservation, especially when our health is constantly reminding us of our limits.
Learning to Communicate Your Boundaries
Clear boundaries rely on clear communication. Here’s how to start:
Get Introspective
Before you can communicate your needs, you have to identify them. What triggers your fatigue, anxiety, or pain? What brings you peace and joy? Reflect on your emotional, physical, and mental thresholds.Be Direct and Honest
Use "I" statements to avoid placing blame. For example:"I need to rest after 8 p.m., so I won’t be able to join the call tonight."
"I feel overwhelmed when plans change last minute. Can we agree to stick to what we’ve scheduled?"
Start Small
Practice with low-stakes situations before tackling more challenging ones. Communicating boundaries gets easier with time and experience.Lean on Intuition
Your body is an excellent guide. Pay attention to when something feels "off"—that’s often your intuition nudging you toward setting a boundary.Acknowledge Pushback
Not everyone will understand or respect your boundaries, and that’s okay. Your job isn’t to manage their reaction but to stand firm in your truth.
Boundaries as a Work in Progress
It’s important to remember that your boundaries—and your ability to communicate them—are a work in progress. What feels right today might change tomorrow, and that’s part of the journey.
The beauty of this process is that it’s deeply empowering. Each boundary you set strengthens your relationship with yourself, helping you honor your needs while cultivating authentic connections with others.
The Connection Between Boundaries and Intuition
Our intuition is often our greatest ally in boundary-setting. It alerts us when something isn’t serving us or when we need to protect our peace. By listening to this inner voice, we can create a life that honors our health and well-being.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re being difficult or selfish—it means you’re choosing to live in alignment with your needs and values.
Ready to Dive Deeper into Boundaries and More?
This Friday, join me and Jayci Gibbs in our first Recharge Room, a restorative space designed for reflection and learning as we prepare for the holiday season. We’ll explore the power of:
Boundaries: How to set them, communicate them, and hold them.
Non-Violent Communication: Tools to navigate tough conversations with loved ones.
Stress Relief: Practical strategies to reduce overwhelm before the holiday chaos kicks in (we’re offering 4 practices to ground and center you!).
🗓️ Date: Friday, Nov 22nd
⏰ Time: 11am PST / 2pm EST
📍 Location: Virtual (Link provided after registration)
This is your chance to take a breather, connect with a supportive community, and learn tools to make this season more joyful and less draining. (Replay link will be sent to all registrants, even if you can’t attend live!)
✨ Reserve your spot now and prioritize yourself this holiday season. ✨
Let’s step into the season with calm, clarity, and confidence—together.